This morning I awoke feeling weary in my bones. I began to question my life’s work. I considered everything I had ever done, the blood, the sweat, the tears. What do I have to show for it? In all these years, have I amounted to nothing?
I sold my business in June. A business I started from the ground up; a business I struggled in daily just to survive; no different from the 10 prior years as a single mom. I felt chewed up and spit out. I consider myself lucky to have dumped it and been left semi in the black.
3 months later I am more rested and less angst. But now I am left with a feeling of being cast adrift into the unknown, without a purpose. I am identity-less and questioning my worth and my future.
And then I was struck by a thought; more an expanded awareness of consciousness itself. I thought of my son. In my mind, I was looking into his big blue eyes; it felt like I was looking into his soul. I suddenly became overwhelmed with a sense of privilege. I was chosen. Invited rather, to bring this unique consciousness to life. What a beautiful creation I made. I felt connected at that moment to the core essence of my being. I am a creator.
I am not measured by my successes, failures, accumulations or acquisitions. I am not measured at all. I just am. I am here to experience, to live, to love, to think, explore and expand.
My contribution is the culmination of every thought, idea, emotion, interaction and decision I make; not what I do or accomplish.
My purpose is me; ever evolving. And so, I am open to the flow of life. I am allowing the current to carry me to the places where the wisdom of my life experiences are needed and best put to use. I don’t need to pigeon hole myself into a job description or title. By virtue of my very existence my value and potential is ever unfolding, never ending and entirely limitless.